"I'm not anti-social, I'm just anti-you."

"Sometimes I need what only you can provide - your absence."

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."

"Good morning, I see the assassins failed again."

"Moral fibre? What, is that a new breakfast thing or something?"

"Stop acting so oblivious."

"Have you no conscience?"

"Good Guy, Bad Guy. What matters is I'm the guy with the gun."

"I'm an apathetic sociopath; I'd kill you if I cared."

"If we really learned from our mistakes, I'd be a freaking genius by now."

"I don't particularly want to kill you. I just wouldn't mind if you died."

"Lazy? How dare you. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy."

"Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject."

"If you're gonna be two-faced at least make one of them pretty."